What happens when the person who raised you is still fighting an invisible war? Many children of combat veterans grow up feeling like their parents are both present and distant, someone they know but don’t fully understand. Growing up with a parent who served in war is complicated. One moment they’re helping with homework, the next they’re lost in memories you don’t understand. That constant shift between “Dad” and “Soldier” creates a childhood unlike any other.

This piece explores the unique challenges and unexpected strengths of being raised by someone who carried the weight of war home.

The Silent Gap Between Parent and Child

When a parent returns from war, they may bring back more than memories. PTSD, emotional detachment, and unresolved trauma can create a barrier between them and their children. You might find yourself longing for connection but unsure how to reach through the silence.

The Emotional Weight on Children

Children of veterans often grow up in an environment of unpredictability. Mood swings, strict discipline, or emotional withdrawal can make home life feel unstable. Without understanding why, you may carry the weight of their struggles, feeling responsible for fixing something beyond your control.

Learning to Navigate the Distance

It’s not easy growing up with a parent who seems lost in their own mind. Many children of veterans learn to cope by becoming overly independent, suppressing emotions, or seeking validation elsewhere. Recognizing this pattern is the first step to healing.

Finding Ways to Reconnect

Healing starts with conversation. If your parent struggle to express themselves, writing letters, sharing memories, or seeking therapy together can help bridge the emotional gap. Understanding their experiences doesn’t erase the past, but it can help create a stronger future.

Bridging the Gap: How to Reconnect as Adults

Healing the relationship starts with:

• Understanding the trauma, not taking it personally.
• Setting boundaries while staying compassionate.
• Finding new ways to connect. Sometimes shared silence speaks louder than words.

The parent you needed as a child might emerge now, if you both do the work.

Conclusion: Your Story Matters

Growing up with a parent who went to war comes with challenges, but it also brings opportunities for strength and understanding. The road to connection may not be easy, but it is always worth the effort.

If you want to know about how it is to be raised by a war veteran, then Hidden Conflict: War Comes Home by Michael Stubinski Jr. is a perfect choice. In this book, the protagonist’s journey reflects this complex dynamic. His struggles with identity, duty, and family will feel familiar to anyone raised by a veteran. Like real-life children of soldiers, Mike must separate his father’s war from his own worth.

Ready to explore these themes deeper? Order Hidden Conflict: War Comes Home and discover a story that understands your journey.